What It Felt Like When My Kids Went Off To College

When my two daughters went off to college everything changed for my husband and myself. For us, we now had two empty bedrooms. Less noise. Less laundry. Fewer groceries. And a flood of emotions. On one hand, we wanted our children to develop, expand their horizons, explore their freedom, and adapt to a life outside of the one that has been there for them their whole lives. On the other hand, we didn’t realize how hard it was going to be to come home to an empty house, and not having the ability to pop our heads into their bedrooms to make sure they were home, safe and sound.

For me, I felt blindsided by unexpected and intense feelings of sadness and loss when my girls left home. I can still remember dropping them off, waving goodbye, as tears streamed down my face. My husband, driving away and not knowing what to do or say. I remember driving the next 4.5 hours home in silence.

I realized very quickly that no one needed to be picked up, to be fed, to be listened to or lectured to on a regular basis anymore. In the beginning I often found myself lying on their beds and replaying the years cuddling and chaos, shared snacks, movie nights, and late night talks.

So, after weeks of not knowing what to do with myself, and daily phone calls to my girls, I did what women do in distress, I turned to my husband, my sister, and my friends. Oh where would I be without my tribe… Ultimately, I adjusted.

I realize now growing up, growing older, letting our children move into their own lives are not exactly decisions we make. But with a little luck (and many tears) we somehow get through it. Now as my other friends start to deal with this inevitability with their children I think it’s better to meet these transitions with optimism, humor, kindness, and grace. Of course we mourn for what is lost, but we also need to celebrate what is gained. Over and over, we have practiced for the moment that our children begin their own lives. We have allowed them to let go of our hand, to cross the street, to ride their bikes, to choose their friends, to come in late, and to make their own choices. Hang in there parents… You got this!

Can you relate to my story? Do you have advice for parent(s) whose kids are heading off to college? Would love to hear from you. Comment below.